On that day I would say I love you and thank you for all you have done for me.
On that day I would say all the things that I never said before because I didn’t know what to say or how to say them.
On that day I would say to all my true friends how much they mean to me and how they have enlightened my life.
On that day I would reminisce about all the good things in my life and forget about all the bad.
On that day I would stroll along the beach and let the waves crash on my legs and feel serene.
On that day I would sit on a tree branch and watch fireworks with a dear old friend and put my head on their shoulder and smile.
On that day I would weep because all these things would soon come to an end.
On that night…I would lay down and look at the flowers next to my bed, shed a tear, close my eyes….and sleep.
On the next day….I would not suffer…I would not hurt…I would not bleed…I would not cry…I would not fear…I would not anger…I would not fall….and I would not wake…on that day.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Cancer, death, Friends, Hurt, inspiration, Life, love, Pain, Poem, poetry, Regret, Survivor
Sorry everyone. I haven’t posted much in the last few days. A friend of mine passed the other day plus some other minor things in life that have kept me from being able to focus on my blogs. I appreciate you guys for checking in while I was away, but I will be posting a new post shortly and look forward to your return. I hope all you fathers out there enjoyed your special day!! Have a great week everyone! ~Tricia
My life has told me that I have a reason
To be and do what I need.
My heart has broke into a million pieces
but still wont bleed.
I’ve looked around for my wished for
and there in front of me
Was life extended out in your wisdom
holding the shattered piece.
All of that time that was wasted on pain
is not lost completely.
Its brought me to a place where i know.
i love unconditionally.
Imagine the world without sacrifices,
what would that mean for you?
Lonely and a soul without a voice
to sing away the blues.
So hear my voices as I sing my song
know that im here.
Watching, waiting, anticipating
wiping away your tear.
My shoulder you cry on, i weep with you still
and i feel the darkness you feel.
But the shadows that casted onto your impulse
is all that makes you real.
So hear this again, this to you is my song
and I will wait for that day
When you need me as i have needed you
the years havent chased me away.
~Tricia Leigh 9/21/09
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Hope, inspiration, Life, Loneliness, Loss, love, Motivation, Poem, poetry, Reading, Writing
I wrote this when my husband and I first met. He was hesitant to love as it had been so long since he had been betrayed. 6 years alone, he didn’t want to invest to only get hurt again. We are now married, and have been since December 14 of last year. My life, my rock, my everything.
My life isnt textbook, and neither is yours,
but one thing we have in common, is all the closed doors.
They’ve been closed by others, or by our own fears,
Leaving us empty, and afraid of shedding tears.
We build our walls, and keep them up, till we figure things out,
meanwhile we miss the bus because of all the doubt.
There is something out there for all of us, but only one rings true,
if you dont open that door, and let them in, you’ll be forever blue.
Why do we shutter, and drive it away, or put another brick in the wall,
when all we need is for that one, to come an break the fall?
I dont understand what we fear, when someone captures our heart,
but I do understand not going too fast, to watch it just fall apart.
When someone says “Ill just mess things up”, I often think of why,
and what is it that they could do to not even want to try.
What is it that keeps them at bay, and keeps them from me?
What keeps them away from possibly loving eternally.
I dont want to miss it, but I dont want a pantomime,
I want a love that will love me, in this lifetime.
Dont be so afraid, dont worry about a month from now,
just enjoy this feeling, cuz I know you know how.
Im not saying a good night is love, but you know this something’s rare
Just dont push away, the one that can take you there…
~Tricia Leigh 3/18/2010
I just started a new story called Sitting at the Bus Stop. This will be chapters narrated by a woman who uses the city bus system to get around. On her journeys through town she ends up running into some pretty interesting people. She tells their stories as she is brought into each life for a reason, not really understanding why. Until she is faced with a life or death situation does she find the answer. Chaos, rape, pain, destruction, heartache, abuse, and neglect are just a few of the problems her fellow passengers deal with, and in one way or another, she is there to help. Not by choice, but maybe by the hand that guides her destiny…Please come check it out. I would love it if you stopped by. Thank you!
So its 5 A.M. and I’m awake…thinking of the previous day.
I’ve been up all day, and night, not knowing what to say.
Then it came to me, with these thoughts in my head,
What I would write about before I went to bed.
Just last night I was rearranging, packing up some things.
Making room for a comfortable bed, working on everything.
Everything to get ready , for a day to come.
Packing up old books and stuff, it really wasnt fun.
So I tried to make it as positive as I could
and remembered why all these things were good.
How I put items in a box, to put away a part of me…
But there is no box big enough, to hold the memory.
~Tricia Leigh 9/30/2009
I wrote this while I was going through a battle with Cancer. I have been in remission now for two years, but I had just heard from the Dr. that I was terminal when I wrote this poem.
As you know I just started here,
Trying to figure out all the gears.
I didn’t know how to post a blog,
or how to post a pic of a frog.
I knew nothing about the feeling you tote
When someone likes one of the poems that you wrote.
I thank all of you for liking my notes
And for subscribing to my emotional boat.
Faced with chaos I turned to cry
Not knowing all the reasons why.
Why did it happen to me this way?
When did I stop wanting to pray?
I couldn’t believe I was to be blamed
For all the things that brought me shame.
Deeper I looked inside my soul
I found my faults, confused of my role.
I forgive those who betrayed more than me,
And killed my chance of sobriety.
Driven by fear of the inevitable day
I had pushed all the love out of my way.
Destruction is what most would have done,
But I overcame it, I fought it. I won.
I truly believe the incurable pains
Are what made me the woman that I am today.
I believe peace of mind is the med of choice
Giving your spirit a beautiful voice.
Living a life that’s raped you of hope
You have to cleanse in order to cope.
The purest of this is indeed love.
But I had some issues with the Lord above.
I couldn’t feel love, because of my past
I just never had love that seemed to last.
It didn’t exist in my world at all
I was sick and tired of that pitiful fall.
I sheltered myself from all the appeal
But that kept me from being able to feel.
Then I found out I was going to die.
So no love, no life, no lullaby.
The life I led meant nothing to me,
And I didn’t care what came to be.
I didn’t have something that , to me, wasn’t real
The ability to love, and the courage to feel.
I made some life changes people didn’t like
But its not about them, it wasn’t their fight.
Now I am free from the grip of disease
I walk so much smoother, so much more at ease.
That isn’t all, there’s so much more,
More personal, and treasured, about the one I adore.
The forced recognition of something I feared
The visions that someone has finally made clear.
I know what I missed, but now I know why
I had to go through it to be able to fly….
~Tricia Leigh 4/15/2010